I was in front of the class, my face was turning read of embarrassment. It was only in 4 grade but I felt it was the most important presentation in my life. I had my whole speech planned and memorized. In the very beginning after having difficulties with only saying the “R” in my name I got stuck saying the introduction “ Hi my name is R-R-Rafael and I will be presenting about Ssssssns… ”. The other kids thought it was incredibly funny and didn't even let me finish the word, they fell from their chairs and even point at me while laughing.
You can imagine the terrible physiological damage it created. I was afraid to talk not only in public or in front of my class but to girls and even friends. I would call those years my mute years even though I still have some days where it comes back. To avoid embarrassment I would change words that had letters: a, b, c, g, r or s. Even my name to avoid getting stuck.
Obviously my parents found out that I was talking less and having trouble saying words; So they took me to a class where they would try to teach me how to stop. In this class the only thing I did was slow reading exercise and they even send me homework. By receiving more homework I got more stress out and my slutter increased. This is when I got in the Learning Strategies group which made also worst, people not only bothered me because I stuttered but because they thought people in the L.S group where dummer, even though I got good grades. I thought that in special classes like L.S or even the ones after school will make it stop, but it didn't.
I thought that the only way was outgrowing my stuttering, but I found out that many teenagers and adults who stutter hope or believe that they will stop stuttering one day. Many deny that stuttering can be a problem or may even deny that their stuttering exists at all. Others may want stuttering to go away so much that they simply begin believing that it just might. For example, a 9th grade person who stutters was asked how he was going to manage his stuttering in college. The young man replied, "I won't stutter in college." This belief may be due to a couple of reasons, such as denial or hope.
By avoiding talking to other people and presenting to people with the fear of stuttering and being embarrassed I was only making it worst. I needed to overcome my fear and face reality. When I realized this the first thing I did to challenge myself was enter the elementary play in 4 grade which I was asked to act as the main character named “Don Conejo”. There I started to gain confidence and that same year I was called to join the senior play which was “La Vida es Bella” (Life is Beautiful) a play which I practiced for more than 4 months and I was given the main character also named Josue. This challenged truly changed my life, I went from my mute years to my parrot years talking everything that I haven't talk the last couple of years.